je repose ça là, je me marre tellement :
http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/France

The origins of France are lost in a sea of incest, cunnilingus red wine and nuclear testing. They have spent their entire existence being the bitches of various empires throughout history.

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The Vikings managed to randomly conquer Northern France, calling it Normandy, after the French were once again taken completely by surprise. This only added insult to injury in their long and illustrious history of getting their asses kicked by everyone evar.

[..]

In World War II, France was conquered entirely in ten minutes by the Nazis. The French cried again and Hitler, embarrassed by their tears, let them have a little bit of land for themselves. Despite this, the French still think they are better than the English, despite requiring over 9000 tons of help from the UK and USA, and being liberated by their armies, and using only British and American equipment. During this invasion, the French Navy escaped to the port of Mers el-Kebir in one of their African colonies. The British sent a naval task force to get the French to either join the Allies or be blown out of the water. Admiral Marcel Gensoul, who said he wanted to preserve the honor of France but was infact a Nazi-lover, made his fleet fight. In the engagement, the British lost 2 guys, the French lost 1,297 guys. The French gave a half-assed response by bombing some British bases in Africa and Gibraltar.

Meanwhile, the French set up a resistance movement which fought a fierce insurgent campaign against the Germans, and helped out D-Day. Frenchies will never stop trolling about how brave their own resistance men were if you ask them about their defeat, but whenever arguing with one, keep in mind that only a couple thousand French were in the resistance, and 20% of them were not ethnically French, but Jews, who hated the Nazis more than the French did. A lot of the French made a Nazi puppet government called Vichy France, and sent soldiers to help fight Allies alongside the Germans. So for the most part, the French fought for the Germans. Mentioning this is guaranteed to instantly create an epic shitstorm among Frenchmen.